Now I'm not the sort of chap to wring his hands and lament the state that we are in.

But *wrings hands and puts on voice of lamentation* "LOOK AT THE STATE WE ARE IN!"

First things first. I don't care that John Prescott's been having an affair. I'm amazed, but I don't care. I DO care that for much of 2002 - 2004 he was getting more action than me but that's an emotional blow I'm just going to have to take on the chin.

But the sleaze, and the rows and the insane war and the total lack of any sense of being in control can't help to bring a lad down. I remember May 1, 1997. How could I forget - I hugged Billy Bragg that night as the Tories were sent packing. The optimism, the excitement, new brooms, things only getting better...

And now we look at this sleazy bunch of career-mad bastards and hopeless tossers and you can't help think of the dark days of the John Major government. And that in itself is all the proof you need that things have gone badly, badly wrong. Tony just hangs on, grimly addicted to power. Like Odysseus strapped to the mast, or Gold Five in his X-wing over the Death Star "Stay on target... Stay on target..." (I'm trying out a range of cultural allusions here to see which ones resonate - no, don't thank me, it's all part of the service)

So lets kick these bastards out, get the Tories in, remember how much we hate them and welcome in a Liam Byrne administration in 2012, eh?

But the thing is I STILL hate the Tories. And here is the incontravertable truth of politics. For if all politicians are bastards then as much as I hate it I'd still rather have our sleazy bunch of career-mad bastards and hopeless tossers than theirs. And at least I have two choices of bastards. LibDem bastards or New Labour bastards.

Ain't freedom grand!

P.S. If you want a really pithy take on the whole Prescott thing, see struggling author