At last! A picture of the Nonstopnews team...

Working L to R we have: Jamie Reid, Andy Walker, Andy Mulligan, Me, Dom de Vere, Glen Long, Damien Samuels and Mark Dolan.

It was our last show last night. It's been emotional...

Here are some more pics courtesy of my friend Nick and his new camera :)
- Who's the anchor in the black?
- The news team getting ready
- The new Daniel O'Donnel ?
- The commentators
- The action
- The horrors of trench foot brought to life by NSN24.

Sometimes you can tell from the start of a book that it's going to be great. Others you have to stick with for a while and they really grab you.

Then there is The Da Vinci Code.

I knew it was rubbish after two words! I knew why but I just couldn't explain it properly. So I am indebted to my friend Glen for pointing this little article my way. The problem's with the anarthrous np - as any fule kno.

Here's my last word on 1984. It seems rather sophomoric to go on about parallels between the book and our-modern-life but I still find it fascinating that Orwell's 50 year old vision of life in an ultra-totalitarian state can seem so familiar in 2004.

Take his description of the Brotherhood, that secret underground network apparently working to overthrow the Party and (thus) civilisation:

"You will have heard rumours of the existence of the Brotherhood. No doubt you have formed your own picture of it. You have imagined, probably, a huge underworld of conspirators, meeting secretly in cellars, scribbling messages on walls, recognising one another by code words or by special movements of the hand. Nothing of the kind exists. The members of the Brotherhood have no way of recognising one another, and it is impossible for any one member to be aware of the identity of more than a very few others. Goldstein himself, if he fell into the hands of the Thought Police, could not give them a complete list of members, or any information that would lead them to a complete list. No such list exists. The Brotherhood cannot be wiped out because it is not an organisation in the ordinary sense. Nothing holds it together except an idea which is indestructible."

Sound familiar? Let's remix that in a 2004 stylee. Reeeeewind ....

"You will have heard rumours of the existence of al-Qae'da. No doubt you have formed your own picture of it. You have imagined, probably, a huge underworld of conspirators, meeting secretly in caves, scribbling messages on walls, recognising one another by code words or by special movements of the hand. Nothing of the kind exists. The members of al-Qae'da have no way of recognising one another, and it is impossible for any one member to be aware of the identity of more than a very few others. Bin Laden himself, if he fell into the hands of the CIA, could not give them a complete list of members, or any information that would lead them to a complete list. No such list exists. al-Qae'da cannot be wiped out because it is not an organisation in the ordinary sense. Nothing holds it together except an idea which is indestructible."

Which was pretty much the thesis of that BBC documentary The Power of Nightmares which I know a lot of people didn't buy but what the heck. Anyhow - am I the only one who enjoyed the thought of comparing Osama Bin Laden with someone called Emmanuel Goldstein? That's probably put me on a list somewhere.

Most remarkable of all I found Orwell's definition of Doublethink to be just about the only way I can rationalise how Tony Blair came to lead us into war in Iraq.

"To tell deliberate lies while genuinely believing in them, to forget any fact that has become inconvenient, and then, when it becomes necessary again, to draw it back from oblivion for just so long as it is needed, to deny the existence of objective reality and all the while to take account of the reality which one denies - all this is indispensably necessary."

All this on top of a US Election won by a party whose basic position was..

WAR IS PEACE
 

My 1984 mania continues...

Yesterday morning I was standing at Hammersmith Tube station. A cheery (but recorded) voice announced proudly that "A good service is operating on all London Underground lines"

I was expecting the inevitable follow up:

"Oceania has always been at war with Eastasia"

I've been reading 1984 again - can you tell?

Apparently my shared email server has been used for sending spam and has thus been "backlisted". I'm not sure what sinister authority (the Inner Party?) makes those decisions but there you go - I can't send any email and a lot of email sent to me gets bounced.

So if you want to email me, and I'm sure you do, then please bother me at work: jjohnston [at] peoplecube [dot] com

Weird show last night. It was our first non-sold-out performance but actually it was ninety percent full so I'm not disapointed. But things didn't seem very lively; didn't seem like we were getting a lot of love from the audience. But afterwards everyone I spoke to was most effusive, even the people I didn't know. It's funny because I've been doing shows like this for over 10 years and you always get some audiences who love it, just not very loudly. But that's never good enough - you want people demanding oxygen before you think it went OK! I think the contrast to last week when people were really up for it maybe makes a difference. I'd still give the show 7 out of 10.

My golden rule of improv is that you cannot blame the audience for bad suggestions. But blimey we got some stinkers last night! Ultimately though it's down to me as the anchorman to get the audience going and try and avoid using the really complicated/rubbish/obscene or "witty" suggestions. But if you don't get anything else you're stuck. And it's up to us to make the most of things - so I think we have plenty to learn from last night.

Best thing was the changes we have made to the format of the show - the running order and the general logistics of it all are really working. People were all saying how slick it was and it really is starting to feel that way. All the performers have been blooded now - Jamie Reid made a cracking debut last night and everyone is comming to grips with what is required and starting to see all the opportunities we have.

The other good news is we should have broken even on our run! So our last show should be pure profit!! Oh Joy. Oh Rapture

I had a very pleasant weekend of sport, comedy, good weather, seeing babies and meeting girls. Good times, indeed. But now I'm knackered.

It was a very flying visit back to Oxford to see mum and dad on Friday before heading back to London for the first NSN24 corporate gig! We had been booked as a light entertainment turn to entertain the hard-working people at eBay. We were all pretty nervous beforehand but I think it went down a storm! Which at least means that people we don't know can be persuaded to like the show. The gig was at the Naked Turtle restaraunt in Richmond. There are two things you need to know about the Naked Turtle: 1. The waitresses are completely gorgeous; 2. And I mean gorgeous. Actually there are 3 things because they are super talented as well. In between dishing out the food they go up to the microphone and belt out some songs. The lovely Katie had been at RADA with our own Andy Mulligan so they were very friendly and kept bringing us drinks all night long. :)

Saturday I had a day all to my own in London town. Can't think when that last happened. I spent much of the morning improving the living conditions of my goldfish Angie, who, frankly, has to put up with quite a lot. She is now the proud owner of a clean tank, with new weed and some "live food" goldfish treats. Do I ever know how to show a gal a good time!

I then went out into the cool clear November day.


and had a bit of a wander round town before heading off to meet the proud parents of this lil' guy:


In the evening I went on a date with a girl! She was really nice and I hope we will meet up again. That's all I'm gonna say right now.

Sunday was really exhausting. A full day of Ultimate with my team PAF in the London Winter League was great fun. The weather was perfect: crisp and still. If the cold hadn't done for the batteries in my camera I could have shown you the rosy-cheeked faces of our team after our Won 2 - Lost 2 performance (which is pretty good by our standards). Unfortunately the cold has also done for my car. It wouldn't start that morning and things weren't any better by the evening when I had to head up to Islington for our show. This meant humping the NSN weather map (A0 size), all the props and costumes on the tube which was a bit of a palaver. But I made it to the Hen and Chickens in good time.

I've been really looking forward to these Hen and Chickens gigs. It's a really great venue and one with a bit more prominent reputation. If things go well we can get some more regular shows there in the new year. Well things went very well on Sunday night. It was another sell out (our third in a row!) and I'd give it an 8 out of 10 mark. We've made a few minor changes to the running order of the show and its working much better now. And the cast are really getting into the swing of things now that they are all comfortable with the format.


Loads of friends had come that night and even my aunt and uncle from Oxford so that was really great. I even met another very lovely girl! That's also all I'm gonna say right now.

Do you remember the good old days? Well now I've been blogging for a whole year. And what a time it has been.

The highs...

the lows...

and the harrowing OBG incident.

It seemed like a good idea at the time, one year ago, with me planning to spend the winter abroad. Now I'm back I rather think it's just a self-indulgent exercise in personal vanity. Not that that's necessarily a reason to stop! And I know a few friends of mine do keep up with what I'm doing via this so its worth it. I also think it's nice to be able to stop and write about things. Even if nobody reads it I don't care because I gave myself the time to stop and think.

It's been a bad month for famous Scousers. First Peel, then Emlyn Hughes. If I was Willy Russell I'd have a personal physician close at hand. And wear a vest.

Emlyn Hughes was definately one of my boyhood idols. He and Kenny Dalglish WERE football as far as I was concerned. So I'm very sorry to see him go so young. It was only as I got older that I came to appreciate that he also had one of my all-time favourite nicknames: "Crazy Horse".

I've always wanted the nickname Crazy Horse! I know nicknames tend to be handed out rather than requested but what the hell. Anybody who calls me Crazy Horse has a friend for life. And I'm still trying to play Ultimate Frisbee in such a way as to be spontaneously christened Crazy Horse by my team. We have a tournament this weekend so watch this space...

It also made me think of my other favourite sporting nicknames:

Clyde "The Glide" Drexler - Basketball
Wilt "The Stilt" Chamberlain - Basketball
Bobby Hebbert "The Ragin' Cajun" - American Football
Carl "The Truth" Williams - Boxing. Because the Truth hurts!

and best of all...

Karl "The Mailman" Malone - Basketball. Why the mailman? 'Coz he always DELIVERS! Boom and if-you-will boom!

So you've got to hand it to basketball. The game itself maybe a bit silly (and to be honest a bit boring) but they are the tops when it comes to nicknames (perhaps these facts are not unrelated?). And I haven't even got to Meadowlark Lemon.
Puts the Premiership to shame. Isn't that right Giggsy?

Thanks to the good offices of my friend Ellie I found myself in the King's Head Theatre on Saturday with the lovely Iona and Sophia (London's queen of cakes). We were there to see the Translucent Frogs of Quuup. Which is a play. Not a kind of frog.



It was brilliant; absolutely my favourite kind of play, which is to say funny, nonsensical and expertly performed. My two favourite theatre companies are The Right Size and Rejects Revenge and this show was of that ilk. Indeed it turns out Chris Larner the main man writes music for the Right Size. Best of all these sorts of shows are really what the theatre is for, if you ask me, which I admit you didn't but there you go you can have that one for free. They wouldn't work on the telly. They would be funny but it wouldn't be as magical as seeing it done live - right in front of your eyes. In the theatre you get a chance to really revel in the talent of the performers (Ms. Rosalie Craig you are A: Beautiful B: Fantastically talented). It was a real treat.

But then again that sort of brilliance is 5 parts inspiring to 2 parts heartbreaking for someone like me. I'm in a comedy show, I think its quite original,I think its quite funny. But I don't think it's as good as what I saw on Saturday. So I either give up - or try to do it better.

Reminds me of a quote I heard once from Speach, MC with early 90s concscious HipHop combo Arrested Development. On first hearing Public Enemy's Rebel without a Pause he says he wanted to quit music as he could never make anything as good. But then he decided to be inspired and carried on. Turns out he was right first time :)

Considering the result of the US election it may seem odd to be celebrating. But I think Americans rock. Here is just one good reason: http://www.thestranger.com/current/special.html

This is my 100th blog. It's not going to be very good as there is loads of stuff for me to do but I just want to jot down a couple of things that happened this weekend.

1. I discovered I have a pair of special "Autumn Enhancing" sunglasses. I've got these cheap sunglasses I got at a petrol station that really bring out the reds, browns and yellows in the autumn foliage. I drove back to Oxford at the weekend marvelling at the colours only to lift my glasses for a second and realise that actually they weren't all that. But my sunglasses definately bring out the best in the season. Truly they are "Legends of the Fall"

2. I was down on her majesty's great British seaside this weekend as I went to the Isle of Wight on Saturday to play ice hockey. As I waited for the hovercraft I had some chips on the beach at Southsea (carbo-loading as we high class athletes like to call it). A little boy was dashing around generally on the run from his family. "Chester!, Chester!" they shouted, "Come back!". Chester - what a great name. More Chesters please (pregnant friends take note). Then watching some Greatest-Bands-Of-The-60s-Ever program last night I got the usual shivers hearing Aretha Franklin at her prime. Ouch what a voice. I never realised she sang at MLK's funeral - that must have been quite a moment. And I wondered why aren't more girls called Aretha? If ever there was someone to be named after it's Aretha Franklin. Is it because parents are worried that their daughter will be nicknamed 'Urethra' midway through a fifth form Biology lesson and scarred forever? Maybe.

3. A strange thing happend about halfway through the ice hockey match. Quite without meaning to I found myself quoting M-People lyrics to one of the opposition. You'll be glad to hear I wasn't offering him "One night! One night in heaven". Or even imploring him to "Search for the hero inside". Instead he had really wound me up by moaning to the referee about any minor infraction he experienced. So I called him a "big girl's blouse" and he charged at me; I stole the puck off him and he gave me another shove and as we skated away for some reason I told him:

Take it like a man, baby: if that's what you are!

How queer.