Name: John Johnston
Age: 37
Location: Calgary, AB
Email: ateabutnoe [at] gmail [dot] com
Disposition: Sunny

September 28, 2004
Logo a go-go 
We have a corporate image:



And some new dates for your diary:
Sunday 14th November
Monday 22nd November

Both these dates are at the Hen & Chickens theatre in Highbury and Islington


September 27, 2004
I was there 
I was lucky enough to be at the ICC Champions trophy final on Saturday with my friend Mike. What a match! It was absolutely pitch dark by the end and with SJ Harmison bowling at 96mph you have to hand it to the Windies: the lads done terrific as they say in Montego Bay. It was fairly parky for a day's cricket (I swear I've been skiing in warmer temperatures) but the action was hot hot hot. Lara's catch to get rid of Freddie; Strauss's catch to get rid of Sarwan; Banger's ton: it was all top quality stuff. There was banter aplenty in the crowd and best of all I got a chance to see, well, my heros. For once I was actually one of the people standing to applaud Freddie as he returned to the boundary after more heroics with the ball. I was amongst all the noise as Harmy roared in to bowl. I was amongst the people being amazed at just how far away the wicket-keeper and slips stand when Harmy was bowling - it's a good thirty yards!

Looking around the crowd, and seeing so many Asian faces, I couldn't help but think of the Tebbit Test. Do you remember the brou-ha-ha old Normo Tebbs caused when he denounced British Asians for supporting Pakistan or India and not England in Cricket? Well this weekend the stands were full of young Sikhs in turbans and St George's flags, Asian families in England shirts and caps. Maybe they had bought tickets hoping to see India or Pakistan in the final but were supporting England. But would they have bought the gear just for that? Even if they did then at least it's not the old "anyone but England" phenomenon that anyone who is English will have experienced watching England play football in Scotland. I just got the feeling that they were there supporting their team, my team, our team.



Whatever it is - I think it's good.


September 21, 2004
Odd 
Last night I went to the newly emasculated Bushranger for the first time since its make-over this summer. I wanted to see what the food was like since the re-launch and also catch the Liverpool v Man Utd match. The food was very acceptable - tasty haddock and chips with a delicious rocket salad (since you ask). And the game wasn't bad, although Liverpool lost and Stevie Gerard broke the footballer's bone du jour - his metatarsal. But a strange thing happened early in the second half.

A woman on the table next to me leant over to ask a question:
"Did you come here tonight just to watch the football?" She said with vague incredulity.

"Yes - and to get a bite to eat" I replied.

"Really. You see I'm writing an article and I'm just looking around and its all men."

This was true.

"It's a bit worrying really".

"Worrying?" I couldn't really see what she was on about "You're worried about men going to watch football in a pub? Modern life must be simply terrifying for you."

"Oh it's not that." She said. "It's just a bit sad isn't it"

"Thanks very much"

"Oh no - not you.."

"Oh right - how do you figure that.."

At this point her companion returned and our conversation ended. But I was a bit taken aback. Did this woman think that she was on to something? Has she tapped into a zeitgeist defining truth about modern men - that single men go to pubs and watch football? Look for that exclusive in the Daily Mail sometime soon.

And where will she be off to next? I can see her down at the Last Night of the Proms asking incredulous questions: "Did you only come here to bob up and down and wave flags?"


September 20, 2004
It's on! 
OK folks, grab a pen, open your diaries, book yourself a baby-sitter because you are going out on the town. Erm... if you'ld like to.

NSN24, a brand new improvised comedy show set in the world of 24hr rolling news and sport is comming to a theatre near you (especially if you live in Camden). Featuring me and this guy, this guy, one of these guys and somebody with the same name as this guy. It also boasts this guy (not the monkey!), this guy and maybe if he still fancies it this guy. Plus a gal and some other guys. How can it miss!

Our first two performances are next month at the Etcetera Theatre, above the Oxford Arms on Camden High Street.
18th October @ 8pm
25th October @ 8pm


More will follow in November.

I'm excited :)



September 18, 2004
A pop first 
I've never really been a big fan of Nick Cave with or without his Bad Seeds. I don't dislike his music it's just never really got me going, probably because I haven't really heard very much. But his new single "Nature Boy" is an absolute stormer and I can't stop listening to it.

It's got the most amazing/preposterous lyrics I've heard in years and a thundering, rolling Steve Harley and Cockney Rebel sound. Surely nobody has successfully rhymed "hysteria" with "wisteria" in a credible pop song. As in:
"I was walking round the flower show like a leper coming down with some kind of nervous hysteria / I saw you standing there, green eyes, black hair up against the pink and purple wisteria..."

Cracking eh!

And how's this for an opening line: "I was just a boy when I sat down to watch the news on TV / I saw some ordinary slaughter, I saw some routine atrocity..."

I commend it to the house.


September 16, 2004
The Elephant Vanishes 
Golly. I went to see The Elephant Vanishes at the Barbican last night. It was quite a show. It's an adaptation by Complicite of Haruki Murakami's short stories, performed in Japanese (with surtitles) by a Japanese company. I really enjoyed seeing Japanese people on stage in England expressing themselves in Japanese: it felt like a chance to experience another culture in action.

I've never seen a production that so effectively combined physical theatre with hi-tech. There were TVs and screens for projections that sometimes showed the performers in close-up or scenes from hectic Tokyo life. In one fantastic bit a man lies on top of a fridge (the fridge was a star thoughout - should have had its own curtain call) dreaming of being out in a boat on a lake. Onto the fridge door is projected the dappled rocks below the water. The man sticks his hand into the water as the projection shows a hand comming in and grabbing a can from the lake bed. The hand rises and with perfect timing the man atop the fridge pulls his hand out of the water holding the can! Best of all there was wire work. I'm a sucker for any kind of Peter Pan/olympic-opening-ceremony-style shenanigans where people whizz around in the air. They used it to brilliant effect in this play where people could be in a completely different plane to reality.

There were also two moments that really rang true from my quick trip to Japan in 1995. The first is when 2 characters hold up a McDonalds. Demanding 40 Big Macs they are offered the Teriyaki burger special. That was my first meal in Tokyo (when in Rome...). Then in another scene a man tunes his radio through the dial. The only English language station he finds is the dulcet tones of US Armed Forces radio in Yokohama. How that station used to drive Alice mad!

In a word: Ace!


September 15, 2004
To thine own self be true 
I am indebted to another blogger for finding the BBC personality test. I took the test and they told me I am a Provider. This is what they said about men like me: "Provider is the most common personality type for women in the UK, according to a nationwide survey".

I knew it! I'm wasted as a guy.

They also said "Providers like to make plans with other people and then to work with them towards achievable goals in a fun, harmonious environment. They support people that are important to them and respect their individuality." I reckon that's me.

"Providers have traditional values and support order and responsible behaviour. They enjoy social events, particularly family celebrations, and often help plan them. Providers work hard to avoid conflict, but they will state their beliefs when they think it is suitable." Yipper - got me again.

"In situations where they can't use their talents or are unappreciated, Providers may doubt their abilities and focus solely on the needs of other people. Under extreme stress, Providers may withdraw completely and become excessively critical of themselves and others." I fear that's probably true as well.

At least Canada are the ice hockey World Cup Champions. So Mario Lemieux (the only ice hockey player ever name checked in a track by a Tribe Called Quest) got to hoist the Frank Gehry designed World Cup trophy.


September 14, 2004
Telling it like it is 
Last night's Snowmail from C4 News put it quite nicely:
"Hurricane Ivan takes its toll on Grand Cayman. Every money laundering off shore bank in the world must have sustained a hit."

But good old Jon Snow couldn't forget the lil' guy: "But the poor Caymanites who service these institutions will indeed have suffered greatly." What a guy.

I heart Jon Snow...



September 13, 2004
Independence for Kernow, or I brake for Pasties 
How's this for an alternative Christmas message - Lisa Simpson speaks for Cornwall. About time too! Mind you - can you believe those figures?

Top billing 
I never thought I'd see this in my showbiz career:


Finally! My name and Showaddywaddy - together at last...

This was at the Diorama arts centre where we are workshoping the new impro extravaganza I have planned. Fingers crossed we shall have our first performance dates sorted out this week.


September 10, 2004
The Write Stuff 
I've just had the inestimable pleasure of entertaining Mr Chris Turner, "a provocative new writer" (Amazon.co.uk) and author of Planet Simpson, in my achingly fashionable Shepherds Bush Manhattan-loft-style pad. He's had an excellent time in London this week (well he was here for Summer!) and even managed to be guest-of-honour at our latest Impro workshop "Status and Scene Development" which has got to be better than Richard and Judy.

One thing I'll remember was our trip to the pub to see England v Poland. Who knew that O'Neils in Shepherds Bush would be packed to the rafters with Poles! I know the Patio Restaraunt (London's topermost Polish nosh - discuss?) is across the road but it was quite a surprise nevertheless. England's goals were greated with enthusiastic cheers from, erm, about 10 of us. When Poland scored the entire place went nuts! Polish euphoria swept the room and out into the streets. It was Gdansk 1981 all over again except I don't remember footage of old Lech singing "Polska! Polska!" to the tune of "Go West" by the Village People. (More's the pity - I always felt Solidarity was disco-lite). The air was thick with the sounds of rarely-combined consonants. It was great stuff. But I'm glad we won!

All this tom-japery meant I had no time to ask Turner what he made of my research on Amazon.co.uk. Apparently "Customers who bought books by Chris Turner also bought books by these authors:"

Judith Bray (author of Land Law)
Jo Coles (author of Constitutional and Administrative Law)
Slavoj Zizek (who brought us the imortal Iraq: The Borrowed Kettle and Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Lacan: (But Were Afraid to Ask Hitchcock)!)
Catherine Elliott (Contract Law)
Beverley Hopkins (Evidence)

Was he targetting film-loving lawyers? Perhaps new marketing material should reflect this..


September 09, 2004
The Modern Parents. Or Being Alan Milburn 
So Alan Milburn now wants to spend less time with his family and more time pissing-off Gordon Brown. That must have been an interesting conversation chez Milburn:

"Darling?"

"Yes, Alan"

"You know how I resigned from the government to spend more time with you and our two smashing young sons, here in Britain's thriving North-East?"

"mmmmmm"

"Well it turns out I was wrong. To be truly fulfilled I need to spend less time here with you and the boys and more time in London; with the big boys. Britain is in crisis! My hour is at hand! The Duchy of Lancaster needs a progressive chancellor."

"mmmmm - sorry... what was the middle bit?"

"You know all that time I've been spending in the shed? Well to be honest I haven't been fixing the mower, or finishing my matchstick model of Aneurin Bevan's birthplace"

"Really?"

"No. I've been refining my reform agenda"

"Oh so that's what they call it nowadays.."

"Ruth! I'm serious. I must go to London. Immerse myself in The Thing. I feel the hand of history on my shoulder...."

"Just don't let David Blunkett immerse you in anything - you're a married man, don't forget."


September 08, 2004
Let's have a heated debate! 
I've enabled a comment feature. So in the unlikely event that anyone is reading this: please feel free to sound off.

I shall now try hard to think of some thought provoking topics...


September 06, 2004
Big up the Bush bloggers 
I've noticed that I've not posted any photos for ages. My camera has stayed resolutely indoors and unattended. I might do something about that: I'm thinking of taking some pictures of my ice skates which I have just had repaired. They are so knackered but my favourite item of footwear and I might even tell you the story of how I came to possess them (it's kinda juicy). But during this hiatus perhaps I can draw your attention to the extraordinary brilliance of the photos on the Zabriskie Point website. Nick Kilroy, the man responsible, is another Goldhawk Road blogger. Only his site is:

A: Tremendously cool
B: Packed with awesome photographs

Unlike this.

It has at least inspired me to go out and take some more pics. And to organise some of my favourites. So welcome to a new a feature here at aTeaButNoE.com >> The pics what I took. Being a selection of some of my favourite digital photos taken since that fateful day in January when I decided to get a digital camera. Look for it in the Link Love section.


September 04, 2004
Thought for the day 
"If you can't comfort the afflicted, afflict the comfortable"

J.K.Galbraith


September 02, 2004
What would Woodward do? 
Being in Twickenham I hope to be first with the news on whatever the hell Clive Woodward (that's Sir Clive, actually, as in Sinclair) is up to. Well I can exclusively reveal that a new branch of Subway has opened today, mere floors beneath where I am right now. And Clive is at the RFU handing in his resignation...

Coincidence?

I think not.


September 01, 2004
Calling all day-time TV viewers 
Summer must be tough eh? Parliamentary recess AND Richard & Judy on their hols. Well TB is back at work and R 'n J return to business on Monday. And who should be a guest on their first show back but my friend Chris Turner. He'll be talking about his book "Planet Simpson" - available soon in all good bookshops.

So your duty is to watch, be entertained, buy the book and start the viral internet buzz. Get out in the internet chatrooms and mention this hot new book. (I know most of you are already in internet chatrooms masquerading as teenage girls, so this is perfect).

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?   Weblog Commenting and Trackback by HaloScan.com

www.flickr.com
This is a Flickr badge showing public photos from A tea but no e. Make your own badge here.