My reputation as the Gary Lineker of British ice hockey took a cruel blow this weekend in Chelmsford. The ref had the temerity to send me to the sin bin, not once, but twice! So after 22 blameless games for the Westminster Statesmen I was suddenly a reckless goon. And I've still no idea what I was doing wrong (this is ice hockey after all - it ain't crochet) but now my reputation is in tatters and those lucrative crisp endorsements are just a dream.

Two things struck me about going to Chelmsford Ice Rink.
1. The last time I was there Mrs Thatcher was the PM.
2. And I had a full head of hair....


I don't miss either.