Luckily this one isn't too blurred. It was so steamy on the train with hundreds of damp coats and hundreds of warm bodies that it was barely drier than the downpour outside: the lens could easily have misted up.

I've eased myself into the aisle seat of this group of 4 and I'm musing on the disadvantages of a Gore-tex jacket where all the rain runs off and soaks your trousers. But look at the face of thunder on the woman opposite me! She's been earnestly texting someone but is shooting a filthy glare up at the women standing with her back to her in the aisle beside her seat. Dame Fate (TFM) has decreed that Seated Woman's head will be exactly at the level of the handbag slung over Standing Woman's shoulder. With the crowd of people packed onto the train there is nowhere for that handbag to go exact backwards and forwards against Seated Woman's temple. So she has chosen the simplest and most effective way of making this stop: THE POWER OF HER MIND! She's obviously sure that by channeling negative thoughts through her deeply furrowed brow and directing them upwards at Standing Woman this nuisance will quickly come to an end.

Unfortunately it doesnt seem to be working. This must be the fourth of fifth time she's done it. Maybe the damp atmosphere is diluting the potency of her mind control. Do negative vibes need an arid atmosphere? Thankfully, because she is British, she hasn't opted for any hair-brained schemes like politely asking Standing Woman to move her bag. That would have caused Awkwardness. And Awkwardness thrives in a damp atmosphere so once its out there who knows where it could end. That Awkwardness could cause a Scene! And nobody wants a Scene on the 8.35 to London Bridge.